Tunnel Vision from Quanstar's book "Water From Turnips" due out in October '08

This is a chapter from my book that's due out in October '08. Let me know what you think:

Tunnel Vision
One morning I was on my way to work sitting in the morning traffic, drinking a $4 cup of coffee, and flipping through radio stations hearing the same songs played by the DJ’s that seem to be telling variations of the same joke when I saw it. A huge concrete structure that ran the length of the highway. It seemed to be a tunnel of some sort, and it was more monstrous than huge. It had to be at least 5 stories tall, which only added to my perplexity. I’d never noticed it before.

My first thought was that it had just been built, but something that big and long would have taken an extensive amount of construction. There’s no way that I wouldn’t have noticed that. Plus on top of that, that shit looked old. It was dingy with graffiti all over it. How had I not noticed this?

My whole life I have prided myself on being very attuned to my surroundings. Most things rarely get by me, and the ones that do never get by me the second time. I drive this highway everyday, with no exception, and there is no way in hell that I would only see this today if it was always there.

Then it hit me, and I finally understood. Aliens abducted me and erased every memory of this tunnel out of my head; however even that would raise a few questions:
• Why would they erase this particular tunnel out of my head?
• What other memories have they erased?
• Why me?
I knew I shouldn’t have read “Behold A Pale Horse”.

The best answers that I could come up with was that this was where their invasion forces are gathering to take over our world and enslave mankind. Of course a massive operation like this couldn’t have been done with this much subterfuge without the help of our government. I think we made a side deal with the aliens for some leniency. It was probably that we agreed in some way to be the “house niggas”, and the rest of the world would be the “field niggas”.

To conceal it, they put us all under this type of illusion centered mind control that keeps us from noticing these bases. Somehow I was able to break it, probably due to my exceptional mental strength. I wonder if they know that I am no longer under their mental influence.

Then I realized how stupid I was for thinking this. There is no way an alien invasion would be possible. Aliens only stick to small towns with farms, because that’s how they make those crop circles. How idiotic of me to think they would have something right off the highway.

Then I went to Plan B; however, I didn’t have one. So I did what every hard working American citizen would have done...I started cursing out and honking my horn at the green Montero that cut in front of me. Man I fucking hate traffic.

An hour later, I finally get to work, but I can’t get that tunnel off of mind. What was it and how long has it been there? Why haven’t I noticed it? And most importantly, where is it a tunnel to? My first three hours on the clock were spent contemplating this. It must have been visible that work wasn’t my forethought, because I was told by my manager twice to get my head out of my ass and work. So for the remaining 6 and a half hours I still searched for answers, but I did it while I was in mindless worker bee mode. Suffice to say that it pleased my manager. I hate working for other people.

The only good thing about working today is that it would be dark by the time that I got home, and I wouldn’t have to notice that piece of shit tunnel. However, as soon as I got on the highway it was lit brighter than anything else. As a matter of fact, when I turned my head to my left to face it, the white light almost blinded me. The rest of the drive, which was still in traffic, I spent trying to ignore it. To no avail of course.

I even dreamed about it that night. I was driving to work again, with my $4 coffee, still flipping through the radio stations listening to the same bad music, and trying to forget about “trying to forget about the elephant in the room” when this incredible feeling of intrigue rushed over me. I had to know what that tunnel was, and I had to know today. So I cut over to the nearest exit...well it was more like signaled and scoot to the next lane. I was in traffic remember.

I finally worked my way off, and made the right turn and headed to the concrete monolith. All of the traffic was going back the opposite way so it was a fairly easy drive. When I got there, the tunnel was even more in every aspect than I imagined. It was bigger, standing at least 100 feet tall. I knew it was older, because the wind and weather damage had it about 50 years from being considered a ruin. All in all, it was even uglier than I imagined, which made its existence even odder than it already was because the area that it was in was the wealthiest part of the city.

Literally across the street from the tunnel, were some of the most beautiful homes that I’ve ever seen. The lawns were immaculate. One house had a porch swing, another had a picket fence, one had a huge oak tree in the yard. There was a hop scotch board sketched in the sidewalk from the day before. The few people that I saw come out were smiling. Wives walked their husbands to the car, and gave them huge kisses. Kids pleasantly waited for the bus stop. The mailman was even making deliveries with a smile. The only thing that I could think about was how a scene so nice and serene can be on the same street as something so aesthetically deficient (SAT phrase).

I turned back to the tunnel, thinking that there had to be some clue as to where this came from and why this is here. That’s when I noticed this rusty, blue metal door right in front of me. I could tell that it was newer than the structure, but that was like comparing Methuselah to Moses. I walked up to it and found out the door was unlocked and, against my better judgement, I opened it then walked in.

My jaw dropped, the surprises ceased to stop coming. The inside of the tunnel was more like a well lit corridor. The walls and the ceilings were gold with platinum trim, and in the middle of the marbled floor was a California king sized bed with a brass frame . Then I heard a giggle, and a voice from behind the door said, “ It’s about time you found us. Are you coming in and closing the door or what?” Like an idiot I did; however, once I saw what was behind it, I quickly understood that I was the luckiest man in the world.

Picture this, four women resembling Gabrielle Union, Eva Mendez, Jessica Alba and Serena Williams underwearless in a half shirt and boy shorts. I instantly knew what this tunnel was now...Heaven. I immediately dropped to my knees and started thanking God for this ultimate blessing when Gabrielle put her hand on my shoulder and lips to my ear whispering, “Pray later, you need all of your energy now baby.” I almost came on myself. Then she stood me up, put her hands on my cheek, and planted the most passionate kiss on my lips. I couldn’t believe it. I’m getting tongue from Gabrielle Union...and Eva...and Jessica...and I just got slammed on the bed by Serena. I then thought, I’m not ever leaving this tunnel in my life. I knew that I found my calling...sex slave. Then, just as Eva pulled down my pants, climbed on top of me and a naked Jessica Alba sat on my face, I woke up.

It was 3:10 am and my bed was soaking wet. Not even in the good way either. I laid still with the cover over my head for about an hour trying to go back to sleep. If I had some in the house, I would have even drunk a bottle of Nyquil. How could God be so cruel? What did I do to deserve this? So for the rest of the night I was unable to sleep, unable to think about anything other than what I dreamed, and trying to decide whether I was going to go to that tunnel.

The next morning, everything started like it always did. I was on my way to work sitting in the morning traffic, drinking a $4 cup of coffee, and flipping through radio stations hearing the same songs played by the DJ’s that seem to be telling variations of the same joke. This time I wasn’t really paying attention to any of it. In my head, I was deciding whether I was going to the tunnel, but, in reality the decision was already made. That dream proved it. Don’t get me wrong, I know those women won’t be there; however, they symbolized something different. Im not sure what, but I’m absolutely certain that I have to go to that tunnel.

So I signaled and scooted from lane to lane until I finally worked my way off. Then I made the right turn and headed to the concrete monolith. Everything was playing out like my dream, which meant that all of the traffic was going back the opposite way so it was a fairly easy drive. Then I noticed the irony in that thought. I was heading towards a dream that I had while everyone, including myself before this moment, fights everyday to fulfill someone else’s.

We get up early, get dressed in uncomfortable clothes, fight the battle called traffic, sit next to people that we don’t like at our jobs, got to lunch when they tell us and come back in a specific time, and get paid less than a fraction of what we make them. Every fucking day of every fucking week of every fucking month of every fucking year I do this like a robot carrying out protocol, I never realized how much I really hated doing it until now. I can’t blame myself though, there wasn’t anything to compare it with. Now I have one, I want to know what’s in that tunnel. Correction, I’m going to know.

When I reached the structure, it looked just like it did in my dream, bigger and older than on the highway. Which also meant that it was it the ugliest thing that I ever saw, and when I turned to look across the street I saw some of the most beautiful homes. One house had a porch swing, another had a picket fence, one had a huge oak tree in the yard. There was a hop scotch board sketched in the sidewalk from the day before. The few people that I saw come out were smiling. Wives walked their husbands to the car, and gave them huge kisses. Kids gave pleasantly waited for the bus stop. The mailman was even making deliveries with a smile.

I wondered was I psychic, because this was an exact mirror to my dream. Later I’ll try my luck with Tarot Cards, and on Sunday I’ll go to Church and testify about my Visions. Either way, I could get paid. Maybe the girls will be in there waiting for me after all.

Then I turned back to the aesthetically deficient ruin in the making to look for that blue metal door. To my expectations it was right there as Moses like as ever in all of its rusted splendor. At this point, my loins ached. What if Eva, Gabrielle, Jessica, and Serena were in there waiting for me? I ran to the door, yanked it open, and charged in. Then my mouth dropped...it was nothing but darkness. “Serena, Serena baby you in there? It’s Quan.” No answer.

Maybe if I close the door the lights will come on. So I did, and it was still dark. Okay, I’m officially a fucking idiot. What was I thinking? I just missed a whole day of work over a dream that had no way of being true. Why would those women be in a place like this? Maybe if I leave now, I won’t get fired for having a no call, no show.

So I turned around and put my hand on the handle to pull the door open, but I stopped. Me walking back out there meant that I was going back to my life...their life. It meant waking up earlier than I was supposed to, putting on those uncomfortable clothes, driving that crowded highway, being underpaid and not appreciated, getting back on the crowded highway, and repeating the rat race again the next day. This can’t be what is in store for me.

My hand dropped from the door I fell to my knees and cried like I just lost my mother. Why has God done this to me? Why make me see something that’s not there? I could have gone the rest of my life living the mundane with no problem. I can’t do that now. I can’t plug myself back into the Matrix. I can never forget what I thought I had, especially now that I know I don’t.

I was on that ground in the dark for what seemed like forever running and rerunning what exactly got me here. I tried to force myself to get up and walk out that door because I had a life that I needed to get back to, but my legs couldn’t move. So, I stayed there with my face in hands and tears dripping through my fingers wallowing in this sham called life.

Then for whatever reason, I pulled my head up from my hands, and noticed something out the corner of my right peripheral. I turned my head to see that it was a white light way off in the distant. “Oh shit, did I just cry myself to death?” As stupid as that sounded, at that point I was too vulnerable to contemplate the outrageous. I was in a tunnel, I saw a light, and for a second I thought I was dead. I’m sure you could see my logic. After getting over my idiocy of the moment though, I became quite intrigued by the white light. Where is coming from? Where is it going?

Just like that I completely forgot about that rusty old door, that led my back to the my unfulfilled life. I no longer thought about Serena, Gabrielle, Eva, Jessica. Well, maybe I’m stretching it there, but you get what I’m talking about. I have rediscovered my purpose, find out what that white light is. So I stood up, and started walking in the dark to tiny little dot way ahead of me, leaving my life as it was behind.

That was 2001. The tunnel is still dark. I only have that dim shine of the wight light that, at times, seems like it’s lightyear’s away. I seldom meet people in the tunnel; however, when I do we find solace in each other’s voices and the fact that we have the same goal even though we can’t see who we’re befriending.

I can even hear what’s going on outside the tunnel. I’ve went as far as to try to communicate with people walking by, but realized that they could barely understand me through the structure.

Often, I wonder what life would be like if I had walked out that door and went back to my meaningless life. Could I have reset my mind to function as it did before this ordeal? Periodically, I may pass a door, and wonder what would happen if I walked out. Then I look and see the light, dismiss my thoughts as trivial and cowardly, and keep going.

The moral of the story is that dreams, when they are in your head are glamourous and sexy, but are often the opposite when executed in reality. I’ve been in this game for 7 years, and truthfully, the only real reward is the comfort I find in the fact that I am one step closer to being Quanstar, the greatest emcee and entertainer of all time, and a walking television station (Ya’ll won’t know what I mean by that for a couple of years). So I happily, yet wearily, walk to that light driven by a stubbornness to never admit defeat, even though, sometimes it seems inevitable.



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